Phew!

Today was a very important day.
I took my last sessional today. After 120 sessionals, unlimited vivas, internal and external pracs.. I have a revelation.

I am amazed. At myself. At just how much I had to push myself, to study for this one sessional.. I refused to read a word that wasn't in points, in my 'photustats'.. "Because that's not important and that won't come."

And there was a time when I used to read because I wanted to. Hell, I even used to re-read. I used to underline my answers and highlight important points and do the paper with a 'nice pen'.. Hahah. I used to remember points and I also remember quite specifically that I hated writing out of context. To think that now I write entire answers which are absolutely out of context.. Wow, that's change.

I know this is a very omg-you're-such-a-kid-and-you-should-go-to-school statement to make but, I'm not sure I like this change. I wish it could be fun to study again.

I've loved these four years, for whatever their worth, but still I feel useless, like maybe if I could've done something more worthwhile.. They've been inexplicably random, to say the least. Like the misty haze on the window pane when it rains.. the one that you write your name in with podgy fingers. And watch as racing raindrops clear it all out with callous confidence.

It's clearing up. Way too fast though.

:X:

Dear Bitchy Girl,

Please get out of my life. I don't know why I have to see you again and again. Face it, as much as you try, you're not even nice to look at, you know.

Don't you get it? Nah, I don't blame you entirely. We do have a common connection.. Him. He makes me meet you.. Over and Over again. I can't make out if He hates me, or loves you or loves that I hate you. Either way, He does make me hate you. All over again. Each time I feel like that was it.. there has to be a limit to your bitchiness. But apparently, you love challenges. That's a good thing. And you prove me wrong. That's not a good thing.

You don't have a limit. Or if you do, it certainly is beyond the current limits of my limited comprehension.

A lot of times, you have known what you have done. You have been responsible. Yet, you have staged the innocent girl. Pretence is your forte alright. Until I play your silly game, that is. Yes, everybody loves you. You can lap up the limelight.
But don't pretend with me. I'm the victim. And a devilish one at that.
I don't want to be you.
I choose not to be you.
I despise your facade.

In fact I think you’re like a wax doll.. the one that squirms to an undefined blob when temperatures rise beyond melting point. (Yeah, pun intended.)
On second thought, you’ll be the best museum artifact ever. No really, you will. (No, this isn’t even a pun.)
In other words, I'm sick of your shit. It’s yours after all. You keep it. The stench is enough to nauseate me anyway.
I was hoping we weren't meant to BE. But then, you proved me wrong. Yet again.

Till we meet again my louve,
Amita :)


PS. I am angry. And confused. And sad. I hate it when people don’t realize that they are not behaving right. They should behave themselves. They better behave themselves. There has to be a limit.

It’s hard. I don’t want to be the bitch.. but I feel like I am emulating some characteristics. Yeah it’s true, I don’t want to, I choose not to be like them. But I have to draw the line. Because they never will.. they’ll keep pretending .. keep pushing.. keep testing my patience and keep sucking my blood like dehydrated leeches.. till I finally rip them off my skin.
And even then, I get all the scars. Plus, I’m anaemic.

Deal with it.
Urgggh!
:X

[|]

We were friends for sometime and
I thought you'll see me through
But you turned your back towards me when
All I thought I had was you.

Oh yeah, it's the end right now
But I still don't think I'm done
You've done your bit and that's ok,
You're simply not the one.


PS. I just read this poem again.. Just in case, anybody is wondering; the first para is for my percentiles. And the second for this year.

*

"Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words." - Dorothy Parker.

Pea Jay Of The Day :P

Aatth ghante so jayo
Aur kar lo pura rest

Aatth ghante so jayo
Aur kar lo pura rest

ACP praduman kehte hain
YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!

:D


Seedhi baat Seedhi karo
Aur tedhi baat ko modo

Seedhi baat Seedhi karo
Aur tedhi baat ko modo

Daya,main to kehta hoon
Yeh darwaza bhi todo!

:D

No Phony Love, This One!

Today is a historic day.
A wonderful relationship has come to an end.
I have finally done away with my 1000 years old Nokia 1100.

He was a good friend.
He stood up for me always. A lot of times, when I have been lonely and curt, not so lonely and very talkitive, he has been a mute spectator to my idiosyncratic randomness. He has watched, as I fought with others and punched him in return.. He has watched as I dived my nails into his skin and smiled at his face, only to be passing a text on to someone else. He has been privy to my insanity, watched all my phony antics, has even, almost-been-flushed once. He has truly stood the test of time, friendship and loyalty. I love him.

And as I put him to rest today, I feel a strange emptiness that wont fill up for a really long time to come. Because he is was, is and always will be the best phone ever. And nothing - no fancy phone, no frilly features, no 20 MP cameras, no 50 GB space can match up to the endearing simplicity of his being.
Some things are truly irreplaceable.

All said and done, however, you are in a sorry state of affairs, my friend. You have been surgically treated twice, have (VDS) voice distortion syndrome, severe skin rashes, and a very acute form of Alzheimer's. Your memory status of 50 phone contacts is defying your age and testing my patience. The recent gash on your keypad is bleeding like a seasonal river and this time, doctors tell me, there is no possibilty of yet another plastic surgery. You know what that means. Ab tumhein dawa nahi hai, dua ki zaroorat hai, mere dost. Of course, until that happens, I've to type without spaces and talk without punching numbers containing zero. Because your zero key, as much as I ignore it, is now a gaping black hole.. Last time I knived my scooter key inside, to literally 'knock' out the letter.

But still, you are by far, the healthiest (at your age), most loved and the most unflinchingly devoted phone I've ever had. Or ever will have.
R.I.P, my friend. I love you.

:|:

Words that knived me
through and through
Numbers that heard me say
If you cant help me Goddamnyou
At least get outta my way!