Truth be told.

I'd always placed you on a pedestal. I enjoyed smiling up to you. Up, the keyword here.
And, sometimes, when you'd look out of the window, with a faraway look on your face, I'd poke you and you'd look away. That scared me, it wasn't easy to bare myself in front of you in the first place and I really didn't know what I'd do without.
So in those uncomfortable moments of pinching disorientation, I accused myself of hallucinating again. Making up problems for myself, because they made life so much more interesting. Didn't they make life feel like one big struggle? And overcoming them made my otherwise uneventful life heroic. Like all those accomplished quotes I loved reading. I have to stop doing that, I'd tell myself.

Smiling of course, as I looked up at you.

You couldn't be wrong and I knew that.
Because when you did look, you looked straight into my eyes, poring into my head, reading all my dirty thoughts and staring right there, smiling a knowing grin even as my eyes paced around the room, fidgety yet longing to look back. I hankered quickly cover up as much as possible. I didn't want to trust too much. As always, I was scared. But, not cynical no.

Not until you walked out on me. Just walked out. Without a second thought. Without a backward glance. Without as much as parting word.
Leaving me scared, confused and searching. Searching for an explanation. Searching for what'd gone wrong. Searching for my bare self, and all that I'd lost to you. Searching for that moment, that brought me closer to you.

Truth be told, dear Trust, you broke my faith.

***********************************************

In the memory of my trust, in people, processes and intentions, which died a slow and painful death. I bow to your inexplicable power, but I'd like to keep my distance now. Thank you very much.

Love, Actually - The Story Starts Now.

Story coming up. Read extract here ;)

Love, Actually: My entry for the Get Published Contest

About: 
Love, Actually is a tale of two hearts, young at heart and free in spirit. The two protagonists of the story are the school-going-kids-next-door. Watch them grapple with issues of love and friendship, love versus friendship and much more.. They will sway you with their intensity and tickle you with their innocence. Will he or won’t she? Will love keep up? Read on to know more.

Excerpt:
“Wake me UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS…oooOOO”

Snuggling cozily in her quilt, she stealthily inched out two fingers from under the covers - just enough to reach the alarm as it continued to get louder, cross new decibel limits with every oncoming chorus. Darn, where does this goddamn thing get turned off?

Then she remembered, it was 1st of October. Haha, she chuckled at the rather cocky choice of alarm tone - smiled slowly and drifted back into the warmth of her quilt and the convenience of her dreams.

She loved dreams.

She dreamt of Paris, the ever higher Eiffel Tower, of love haven and unfettered freedom, of the misty haze and the snowy Alps..her reddish cheeks in the winter chill, her picky nose in the piercing winds..

She also dreamt of Harvard Law and corporate cases, of heady success and a great career.. and all the good things that money could and couldn’t buy.

And then, she dreamt of love.. His genuine smile and scruffy stubble, his soft whispers and sturdy arms.. wrapped loosely on her waist. Oh, why wouldn’t he say it, should she? Doesn’t he know he’s awesome?

“Urrgghhh, snooze will go to hell for sure”, she murmured as the rubbed her eyes into the ticklish sunlight. Wait a minute, sunlight?

She jumped out of bed with the determined ferocity of a starving lion, hurling abuses at the clock, her stupid best friend and well, all things that did or did not come in her way as she hankered for clothes, shoes and what not – frenzied, prancing and obviously late for school.

 ***********************

“And you know, her hair smells sooo good”, he smiled, sheepish, almost guilty at his revelation.

“So have you asked her out?”

“Noooo, not yet. She’s my best friend and you know how girls are, right? I think she just sees me as a friend and I would just spoil our friendship too.”

“But don’t you like her?”

“I do, I can take her no, but I can’t stop talking to her. Crap, why does she have to be so perfect.. How do I tell her.. this is just so crazy. We talk about everything but this – and I’ve practiced it about a 100 times, just can’t get myself to say it”, he mumbled, his incoherent thoughts rambling randomly out of his rather troubled mind.

As they entered the classroom and took their chairs, he quickly ‘reserved’ the seat on his right, smiling helplessly to himself. She’d be late and he loved that.

***********************

This is my entry for the HarperCollins-IndiBlogger Get Published Contest, which is run with inputs fromYashodhara Lal and HarperCollins India.

If you like it enough and would like to read more, please do shower your love here: http://www.indiblogger.in/getpublished/idea/544/

Parched.

I just hope you're happy now,

And all your deeds are done,

For I don't want no arid 

drops, burnt sooty by the sun.

It does.

Lest I forget..

A day to remember:

• Free from office at 6:20 PM (earliest ever!)
• Very little work
• Stuck in traffic for over an hour in the most awesome weather ever

The Millenium City has finally been blessed. Allow me to share this with you - There is a slight drizzle in the air here, and I say 'in the air' because as I look out the window, soft droplets are melting quietly along my cheeks - like smiles masquerading as tears.. (isn't that a first?).
A few others though, are actually smiling back at me.. as they glide gleefully on the window-glass of my cab.. like polished ballet dancers on an ice stage - obliviously elegant in their moves, yet fully aware of my poring eyes marveling unbashedly at their style.
Wait a minute, they're in tune with FM's "Naa Chode Yaariyan..."

The breeze is sneaking playfully through my jacket too - its warm enough to keep me smiling, yet chilly enough to redden my cheeks. 

*chuckles to self*

Did I tell you I'm stuck in traffic?

Almost.

I huffed around in frenzy

I had just been shown the bone

Now I must pounce at just-right time

And then he'd be, all mine to own

Was there time to smile some bit?

I had just been shown the bone

Or should I plan the next move

His entry to my zone.  

I really thought I'd grab it, for

I had just been shown the bone

I believed that God would favor me

I'd been true you know, my own 

They call it over-confidence or perhaps,

some random crazy dreams

I jumped and lunged to grab it, but

fell flat on my knees

A cracked up bone and ugly scars

Did finally clear the fog

Life's a bitch and that's that

Bleh, I'm such a dog.