Friday, April 16, 2010


Today was a very important day.
I took my last sessional today. After 120 sessionals, unlimited vivas, internal and external pracs.. I have a revelation.

I am amazed. At myself. At just how much I had to push myself, to study for this one sessional.. I refused to read a word that wasn't in points, in my 'photustats'.. "Because that's not important and that won't come."

And there was a time when I used to read because I wanted to. Hell, I even used to re-read. I used to underline my answers and highlight important points and do the paper with a 'nice pen'.. Hahah. I used to remember points and I also remember quite specifically that I hated writing out of context. To think that now I write entire answers which are absolutely out of context.. Wow, that's change.

I know this is a very omg-you're-such-a-kid-and-you-should-go-to-school statement to make but, I'm not sure I like this change. I wish it could be fun to study again.

I've loved these four years, for whatever their worth, but still I feel useless, like maybe if I could've done something more worthwhile.. They've been inexplicably random, to say the least. Like the misty haze on the window pane when it rains.. the one that you write your name in with podgy fingers. And watch as racing raindrops clear it all out with callous confidence.

It's clearing up. Way too fast though.

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